I Mean, Amen.

There’s a great scene, and I have to credit my brother (Ben) for pointing out its beauty years ago. In the off-beat and strangely sacred sci-fi novel Perelandra by CS Lewis, our protagonist approaches a pivotal moment where he will either succumb to deception or stand against the deceiver. Ransom lifts a stone to hurl at the Un-Man and blurts out, “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, here goes - I mean Amen.”

Something inside of Ransom plucked up a bit of foolish courage and knew it was holy ground, all at the same time. Ransom intuited that this brave move called for a solemn oath before God, but in a scrappy “here goes” sort of way that lost the reverence. After all, there is little time for eloquence when we are hurling our stones at Un-Men. At some point, we just have to do the thing. For me, the thing is to start this blog, publish a website, and toss my name into the hands of readers and potential editors. Quite honestly, it’s terrifying.

What if I’m too late? What if nothing I have to say is valuable or relevant? What if other people have already said the things I say, but have done so better and louder? What if I’m misunderstood and can’t defend myself well? What if I’m wrong about important theological ideas? What if my writing comes across to people in a way that feels self-promoting and self-aggrandizing rather than Christ-centered? Worse yet, what if I actually am self-promoting and self-aggrandizing rather than Christ-centered?

These questions and their unnerving possible answers have led me to delay and avoid. Once the kids are older, I’ll write. Once we have settled in overseas. Once my lesson plans are finished. Once that project is done. Once I’m done with seminary. Once…

Let’s just do the thing.

What exactly will this blog become? I’m not totally sure, so here are my best guesses. I’ll use it to tease out big ideas that are floating around - things I’m talking through in conversations with people, encountering in Scripture, hearing in podcasts, reading in books. I’ll try to share in-process thoughts even if they’re clearly unfinished. If other writing projects get off the ground, I’ll share about them here too. But who knows? May my hands be open to whatever this thing needs to be. Above all, may this be a place for honest wrestling and careful articulation. May the grace and truth of Jesus inform all the writing and engagement at this blog - including how you read and (Lord willing) write comments to interact with one another. May Jesus be lifted up in this endeavor. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, here goes - I mean Amen.